Tales of the White Knight
by notmarge
Summary: I, Sir Charles Eustace Fotheringhay Le Malvoy III, White Knight and Guardian of the Curtsey, pray thee come, stay, and attend to my tale. Brimming with adventure, love, and loyalty, may it captivate and inspire thee in thy own adventures. 'Tis, in fact, the story of how a knight saved his kingdom. Well . . . maybe with some help.
1. I Meet Just Alice (and her Vassal)

I do not own Syfy's Alice. I do not own Hatter. Shame.

Tales of the White Knight

Chapter 1: Wherein I Meet Just Alice (and her Vassal)

* * *

I strode through Forest of Wabe, on the hunt for the elusive and mighty Jabberwock. Many a time had I hunted this creature and today! Today I would obtain my prize!

I perceived the Jabberwock's bellow from a distance away and felt the ground shake with his ire. Skillfully silent in my fine mail armor, I snuck my tall, lanky frame through the wood. Coming upon the Jabberwock from behind, I beheld with dismay the great beast rear its mighty head back and roar again in distress, stomping away from my clever contraption.

No! The plan was foolproof! It couldn't possibly have failed! (Again.) There must have been an unexpected occurrence! I approached the location with righteous anger burning in me and beheld . . .

"Vermin! Saboteurs! Anarchists!"

How dare they? To have so willfully overthrown my brilliant plan! The Jabberwock remained free! Again!

"I was _this_ close to catching him!" Well, maybe not quite. Bit more space between the hands then. "_This_ close!"

"Degenerate bag-heads!" Oh, I was in quite a terrific fury.

Who did these people, for they were indeed people, think they were? A young dark-haired maiden in a blue dress and purple coat and a young suspicious-looking fellow with dark, shifty eyes.

I continued my righteous verbal assault as they escaped my apparatus and stood before me, very nearly trembling in fear at my justified tirade.

"Subverters! Pig-pushing flecks!"

Okay, that one was unintelligible. I searched my sophisticated vernacular for the most offensive comment I could muster, my hands clenched in frustration.

"Bug bashers!" There! That should do them properly!

The maiden appeared flustered, and of course, why shouldn't she be? Deterring what would obviously have been a glorious victory in the face of the elusive Jabberwock. She had every right to be flustered; served her right.

The young chap with her was surely of little importance to me. He was clearly a vassal of some sort and therefore did not warrant my attention.

The maiden recovered her wits somewhat and spoke. Using such low and base dialect to inquire as to my identity concerned me of course, but I graciously forgave her falter and moved forward.

"I am a knight," I declared dramatically.

I approached them with all grace and dignity before landing myself in a hole with an unceremonious clank of armor. I now appeared shorter than they and had lost some of my bluster and nobility. _Blast_.

Recover, Charlie. And speak, Brave Knight!

"The White Knight to be precise. Sir Charles Eustace Fotheringhay Le Malfoy III."

I spoke my illustrious title with such gallantry that I drew a deep, proud breath at the end just to take an extra moment to savor the deliciousness of it. Ah, I was quite aware of my striking presence, even right down to my neatly curled moustache and beard. Took hours to curl it properly, I must say.

They were visibly speechless and stunned. No doubt in awe to be in the presence of one as distinguished as I.

And now, for some decorum on their part. "Who are you?" I eyed them closely so that no falsehood may escape their lips.

The maiden spoke first. "I'm . . ." She seemed hesitant, but why? "Alice," she finished.

"Alice?" I peered closely at her. "_The_ Alice?"

It couldn't be. I repeated it again, looking closely in her blue eyes for a deception. Surely not.

"No," she answered, clearly uncomfortably with our proximity.

Must be my natural musk, the exotic allure of an adventurer. I must needs be wary of that in the future so as not to make her discomfited. 'Tis only befitting knightly behavior.

"Just . . . Alice," she concluded, quite unsure of herself in the presence of such a proud and noble man.

"Just Alice." This warranted great consideration. "Ehh."

I turned away muse this over, perhaps even consult the Oracle. Just Alice's vassal, whom I had up to this moment completely ignored, chose this inopportune moment to speak.

"I thought you guys were all wiped out years ago."

Impertinent child with his messy hair and common tongue! How dare he interrupt my musings? I dealt with him directly, laying him low with barely a glance.

"Well, you thought wrong! As you can see, I am as fit as a butcher's dog."

I smiled confidently, slapped my sides in illustration, and barely stifled a cough. _Blast twice_.

Just Alice, bless her innocent soul, posed a most unthinkable question.

"Are there any others like you?"

I smiled kindly while turning away from her folly.

"Certainly not. I'm a one-off! My Nan used to say that if I were the only eligible bachelor left in the world . . ."

I leaned over to retrieve the Royal Shovel, having yet to master the ancient knightly art of telekinesis.

". . . there wasn't a warthog or wallflower who'd polish my escutcheon."

I laughed grandly at the memory. Ah, my dear Nan, what a sweet woman. Fine with pies, quick with a joke, and wielded quite an arm when swinging her broom at my head.

Just Alice did not respond favorably to my humorous account. How very unfortunate that she possessed no sense of humor.

"No, I meant are there any other knights in these woods? Your . . ." she appeared to hesitate.

Clearly, she did not possess a gift for words and language as did I. More's the pity.

". . . comrades in arms," she concluded.

I huffed in amusement. "Heavens, no. Are you mad? We were all wiped out years ago."

Ah, then again, perhaps she did have a touch of the comic. Jolly good!

The vassal spoke up again. Him with his jaunty hat and that silly shirt. "You dug that pit on your own?"

His doubting words cut me to my very core. Just because he was a young rascal he thought of me as infirm. The insolence! The disrespect! What an upstart little brute!

Dropping the Royal Shovel, I advanced upon him in a righteous anger.

"You think I'm too old! Well, let me tell you something, Nug-Face! Youth is vastly overrated!"

There I'd said it! I could take him any day! Him with his pinstriped purple pants and his shiny finger rings! Thought he could insult me because of my white beard and achy joints!

"I may have put on a few years, but I'm crafty!"

As I advanced, the aforementioned Nug-Face backed up in alarm. As by rights he should be alarmed! Did he not know who he was in the presence of?! _The_ White Knight!

Just Alice moved back with him. Ah, poor, sweet child. Ready to defend him in a moment's notice. How misguided she was.

"I have a very inventive and calculating mind, stacked high with groundbreaking, state-of-the-art ideas! I invent all sorts of things!"

Ah, yes! These uneducated children had not yet bore witness to some of the more genius of my inventions. I daresay I felt a touch of sudden glee. Other humans with which to share my wonderful ideas!

"The Beehive Mousetrap, for instance!"

How delightful! Certainly a treat for them as well as myself. It had been quite some time since . . . well, anyway . . .

"This here 'pit' as you so rudely call it," I turned again toward the fruit of my many days of labor and then back to them, rampant in my discourse. ". . . is my third attempt at the Gravity Assisted Snare Mark IV!"

Ah, yes. Such a noble title for such a brilliant invention. I stood tall with pride, certain they would awe once again at my accomplishments.

I turned away from them yet again, desirous to commune with the forest and all the creatures in it. Holding out my hands to feel the spirits and, perchance, commune with the Oracle . . .

". . . have you survived?"

Thetan's Ghost! The vassal _again_?

"Hmm?"

Well, the lost boy was indeed in need of a properly wise person of the forest to guide him, was he not? I suppose I could enlighten him in regards to the, um, er . . .

"Oh, yes. I'm a Knight." There that explained it. "And an inventor, as I've said."

Lest he forget.

* * *

**Interested in reading more? Please let me know so that muse stays . . . well, museful. ;)**

**Thanks to Nocturnal Elle ****for your support and review! You're fantastic!**


	2. My Discovery of the Stone of Wonderland

I do not own Syfy's Alice. I do not own Hatter. Shame.

Tales of the White Knight

Chapter 2: My Discovery of the Stone of Wonderland

* * *

Truthfully, now. 'Twas only knightly conduct to be ingenuous. "Although, if I'm honest, it's strictly on a part-time basis."

I skirted casually around the vassal with his dark, prying eyes and approached the fair maiden. Certainly, she was a maiden with those big, blue, innocent eyes. The vassal quietly muttered some mocking retort to which I, of course, paid no mind.

I turned my gaze upon Just Alice. She of the long, flowing, black hair. _She_ would believe.

"And I dabble in the . . ." Heavy pause for dramatic presentation. ". . . black arts now and then."

Now to really employ some grandeur, Charlie, my boy. Deep breath for optimum vocal articulation. Oops, a little snort. Stupid allergies. No matter. On we go, on we go.

I displayed dramatic hand gestures whilst conveying my most mystical of facial expressions and metaphysical of voice intonations. Make them _believe_ it, Charlie.

"Soothsaying, toenail readings, that sort of thing," I waggled my fingers slightly, as though inviting the toes with their nails right into the palm of my hand.

Just Alice appeared to be on the edge of a smile. Brilliant! She was ready to believe! And now for the big demonstration. Day-o!

"Here, let me show you. Give me your palm," I requested in a friendly manner as I reached out for her left hand. Hopefully she would hold still better than the squirrels.

As I looked down upon her tiny delicate hand in mine, she jerked away with a clearly unwarranted reproach. But . . . what had I seen in that instant? Surely not.

"What's that on your finger?" I asked, all my showmanship evaporated in an instant.

She frowned, clearly realizing she had been caught in a pretext. Her vassal may have inched closer to her in that moment, but I couldn't be distracted enough to notice. I teetered on the edge of a moment of grand discovery.

"It's the sacred ring," I spoke with a quiver belying my oncoming exhilaration.

The moment was upon us. The moment was now! Oh, the emotions whirling up within me! I could barely contain myself. Suddenly, Just Alice held my full attention. She had the glow of an angel and she was here to save us all and return the glory to the realm!

"The Stone of Wonderland. Our ring." Dare I hope? Dare I dream? Had it finally returned home?

Just Alice's unsolicited vassal intruded forward into my encounter, dared to touch me, uninvited. _Me_, The White Knight. He dared to place himself between me and Just Alice, who bore The Stone of Wonderland. He spoke some assortment of threatening words of which I, yet again, paid no attention. My joy was so overwhelming that I turned away from the glory of the Stone of Wonderland and sank to my knees in bliss.

It was so clear now! I held my hands in supplication out in front of me, my eyes shut tight in sincerest petition and words of extreme elation poured forth without my impediment or organization.

"It is meant to be! This time! This place! This meeting in the woods . . ."

My words continued on, unabated, whether in my head or spoken forth, I do not know. My heart was so full of the all magnitude of it. All my words spilled forth in a jumble, in a mass of gratitude. Oh, the long years, now finally, over!

May chance, I might have even sung a little in gratitude!

The Oracle, the Oracle, I could speak to the Oracle, she could speak through me! Speak!

"The stars are aligned in a cosmic ray of hope!"

The joy, the joy, oh my joy!

". . . dressed like a car crash, but he's a survivor."

Just Alice, my Alice. I shall have to teach you some propriety yet, my dear.

"And I'm not deaf!"

Indignantly, I rose. The knee joints held. I spun about to face Just Alice and her vassal. The hip joints held as well. 'Twas a good day indeed.

"Just Alice," I proclaimed boldly. "I, Sir Charles Eustace Fotheringhay Le Malvoy III, White Knight and Guardian of the Curtsey . . ."

Dip down and up. Back held. Good . . .

". . . will be honored to escort you, your goods, and your . . ."

I tossed a dismissive gesture toward him, oh I do say, that boy does vex me so . . .

". . . vassal to my sacred kingdom."

My speech concluded, my vow proclaimed, I bowed my head in the most magnanimous of etiquettes and graciousness of gestures to the beautiful Just Alice.

And . . . there goes the spine. I was stuck. Blast and damnation.

Well, what are vassals for?

"Quickly, quickly," I spoke, calmly gesturing in invitation this time.

The vassal wore an expression of astonishment. Well, of course, to actually be _invited_ to touch a knight, to aid him in his time of need, of course he was astounded. 'Twas quite the honor for him, I do imagine.

"Sacroiliac," I specified. Come along then, Vassal. Time to move things along before I crumple onto the forest floor. Again.

He paused momentarily, no doubt building up his courage to actually approach me. He murmured something into the air, quite possibly a prayer of thanksgiving, and approached me slowly, reverently.

"Straighten, straighten, straighten. Hard, hard," A youth such as he required direct instruction.

No whimper in the voice there, Charlie. Stay strong. Dignified.

The vassal placed a hand on my back armor, one on my chest plate, and straightened me. The world once again regained its proper angle. Though no breath could enter or escape my lungs, I constrained my countenance to appear normal. Noble. Knight_-_like.

Start walking, old chap. Well done. One step at a time. You shall breathe again soon enough.

"Good-o."

* * *

**Oh, Charlie. I just love him. Just want to hug him and then shake the crazy right out of him.**


	3. My Knightly Pride and Sorrow

I do not own Syfy's Alice. I do not own Hatter. Shame.

Tales of the White Knight

Chapter 3: My Knightly Pride and Sorrow

* * *

I proudly escorted Just Alice and her Vassal past the beautiful giant white mushroom, ever deeper into the mythical forest of Wabe. I rode ahead upon my striking white steed (his paint was peeling some; I must needs reapply soon). I had graciously bestowed upon them my lovely bay, Guinevere. (Truthfully, her name was Dot. However, that moniker lacked a certain essential dignity.) Having once again donned my chain mail cowl, I traveled gloriously through the wood, my new companions following behind.

To prevent us from being tracked, I had attached another of my genius inventions to Guinevere's saddle. The netting was cast with magical elements so that as it passed over the ground, our horses' tracks were wiped clean away and beautiful young grass shoots instantly sprang up in their place. Simple, clever, eco-friendly. One of my better inventions, if I am to admit.

As we rode along at an easy clip, my elation at having discovered the Stone of Wonderland and new cohorts with which to share in my adventures soon overtook me again. I broke into rapturous song.

"Hey, nonny nonny! Hey, nonny nonny! The wind and the . . ."

'Twas not so much about the _words_ that I sang in my rich timbre but the _emotion_ conveyed in them.

Ah, the knights! Pride for their everlasting honor. Sorrow for their lost nobility. My yearning for the return of a more peaceful era to the realm. Ah, the knights!

Reaching the proper locale, ready at last for the momentous reveal, I pulled back a strategically grown verdant branch and, with honest pride, stated,

"Welcome . . . to the Kingdom of the Knights."

We gazed out over the beautiful forest vista onto the lost Kingdom of the Knights. The enormous, majestic chess pieces that had been carved painstakingly out of the very rock of the world stood out in clear relief. They had once been glowing white. Now, I was sad to admit, they appeared discolored and worn by the passage of time. Once impressive stone structures now slowly deteriorated into the earth. Cracked, crumbling walkways stretched out over the vast expanse of the forest.

Just Alice and her Vassal looked on with me in wonder and I felt their awe for this place radiating out along with my own. Barely a soul, save myself, had looked up this marvel in so long. I was most grateful that they were beholding it now. This past grandeur must never be forgotten.

After dismounting the horses and leaving them to graze, we walked slowly among the giant chess pieces of knight and bishop. Ancient lore had revealed that the knight represented the brave, armed cavalry. Posterity recorded the bishop sometimes as a messenger and sometimes as a fool. Oh, my deepest desire, to be a true knight. And my deepest, unspoken fear that I was indeed, a fool.

I revealed the Knights' history as I led our small company on foot along the path to our destination. I chose not employ my usual brand of dramatic flair whilst introducing Just Alice and her Vassal to this most historic and tragic of locations. I simply walked and talked quietly of it whilst allowing them to meander ahead of me and discover it for themselves as I spoke.

"Before the war with the Queen of Hearts, this was once the greatest city in the realm. The Red King and his Elected Council ruled Wonderland with the wisdom of the ages."

They seemed genuinely interested in my account, listening quietly while walking and gazing at several regal, sadly abandoned structures. Even the Vassal seemed to have discarded his roguish demeanor in favor of gentler conduct. Perhaps I had judged him too quickly, too harshly. Perhaps.

"And the Hearts destroyed everything?"

Ah, my dear Just Alice, how succinctly do you speak.

"We lived in harmony for a thousand years, but when the Queen came to power, she just wanted to feel the good, not the bad."

Even I, with my flair of the dramatic and willingness to turn a blind eye, could not deny the importance of emotional balance.

I stood quietly for a moment, allowing them to consider my revelations. 'Twas indeed a sad tale and one I was most sorrowful to relay. Just Alice's clear blue eyes shone with sorrow. Her Vassal appeared to be affected by my words as well. His usual jaunty air was replaced now by a somewhat subdued solemnity.

I turned and revealed a most sorrowful place. Ah, it had once been so majestic. Oh, the glorious days long past. Now there were but a few remnants left.

"Believe it or not, this was once the throne room."

After the original structure had crumbled, I'd been compelled to build a somewhat haphazard shelter to ward off the elements in unpleasant weather. From it hung links of chains and several lanterns in the frequent event that I became unsettled alone in the dark.

Long tools stood in an ill used bathtub off to one side along, with a broad bench, and some bits of dismantled armor strung up on a makeshift clothesline. A wooden ladder leaned against one tree for me to ascend to my lookout point when necessary. A campfire with a hanging curved metal pan stood well out of way of the trees in the middle of the small glade.

My swinging hammock hung between two stout trees near a low stone wall. The view out onto the Kingdom of the Knights was glorious to behold, but some days I could not bear to look for sadness at this abandoned glory. Miscellaneous items were strewn about the area.

Occasionally I felt a bit of guilt at my careless disarray. 'Twould have thrown my Nan into a right fit for certain. Then again, she wasn't here to throw any kind of fit, was she? No, indeed. 'Twas only me alone. . . Well, no matter.

"Sadly, all that's left now is the throne."

I directed their gazes to the majestic Red King still sitting upon his white stone throne. He was all skeleton now and had been for a good many years. His royal clothes and chain mail hung loosely from him. He still clutched his sword and his tarnished golden crown was perched even now upon his head.

I was well aware of how gruesome a spectacle he made, but I had not had the heart to move him in all these years. Alas, after all this time, his gaze still penetrated my soul, reminding me of my own worst sin, my own dreadful folly.

Ah, but that was a tale for another time.

Perhaps with the arrival of Just Alice and her Vassal, he would not stare so intently into my soul tonight when the sun hid away and the stars lay just beyond my reach in the dark, unforgiving sky. When all my singing in this world could not keep the Red King's deep, gravelly voice quiet in my head. Perhaps Just Alice and her Vassal could quiet him.

One could only hope.

* * *

**We have grown a bit somber in this chapter I know, but even our man Charlie here has some quiet clarity from time to time. Don't we all?**


	4. The Peacefulness of the Glade

I do not own Syfy's Alice. I do not own Hatter. Shame.

Tales of the White Knight

Chapter 4: The Peacefulness of the Glade

* * *

'Twas well into nightfall. The woods were fully dark and peaceful with the quiet sounds of night creatures. The sky overhead held no sorrow, no mourning, only a multitude of bright, sparkling pinpoints of light. My lumbering wooden contraption, sloshing water at the wheel, moved rhythmically to fuel our flickering campfire. Its squeaky creaking proved somewhat soothing to mine ears.

Of course, it might also have been the comforting presence of Just Alice and her Vassal abiding with me on this fine eve. Living people I could hold conversations with and that could, in turn, speak back aloud. How utterly delightful! Although for a while, there had been less of the conversations and more of the chewing sounds.

Tonight's meal had proven to be especially delicious if I do say so myself. Perhaps it was the slow roasting of the borogove meat. Or the tranquil companionship of our little troop. Whatever the reason, my temperament felt lighter than I could remember in quite some time. I managed to refrain from breaking out into song. 'Twas more of a quiet joy, really.

The warming flames popped and crackled softly in tune with the music of the night. On the other side of the fire, Just Alice sat on a log, gnawing on a large rib bone and her Vassal sat on the ground facing her, his plate between his feet. He had not eaten quite so voraciously as she, but despite her diminutive size, Just Alice did appear to be the more formidable of the two. So I wasn't surprised.

During the succulent meal, the Vassal had quite civilly requested that I call him 'Hatter' in lieu of 'Vassal'. Ever the accommodating host, I acquiesced graciously. They were, after all, my guests and he had endeavored to conduct himself quite cordially whilst in the Kingdom of the Knights. It made a certain amount of sense, I suppose. He did, indeed, wear a hat.

I now stood comfortably in my worn, stained undergarments, having removed my bulky, uncomfortable (yet dignified, of course, always dignified) armor some time before. Casually prodding at the fire with a long bough, I felt peacefully content.

After cleaning what appeared to be every scrap of meat off the rib bone, Just Alice made the contented sound in her throat that every cook so hopes to hear and spake thusly unto me.

"That was good, Charlie."

I'm not sure why, but it seemed only natural for her to refer to me as 'Charlie'. As though we were acquaintances, comrades, nay even, friends. 'Twas a warm and welcoming sentiment to my lonely knight's heart.

She seemed only slightly hesitant in asking, "What was it?"

Brave, Just Alice was. Eat first and inquire later. An admirable quality. Unless, of course, she was completely mad.

"Barbequed borogove," I responded with modest pride. A chef, of course, is always glad to hear when his food is appreciated.

"They're the devil to catch, but well worth the trouble. Don't you think?" I concluded, grinning happily at her.

Ah, how nice to converse with people again. The squirrels hardly ever answered anymore. Too busy conniving against me, I suppose.

Just Alice seemed to consider this as she contemplated the remnants of the borogove rib. Then with a hint of a smile, she said casually, "When in Rome," and discarded it.

Hmm, where is this Rome? I wondered. What did they do there? How very endearingly odd you are, my Just Alice.

Suddenly, I felt a familiar heaviness in my lower regions. Discarding the burnt stick, I rubbed my hands together briskly and contently patted my belly.

"Shan't be long," I reassured, gesturing and turning away.

Heading off, I moved with purpose and confidence through the dark. Blame advancing age and the wealth of the aforementioned borogove meal - 'twas time to clear my bowels.

I only hoped those blasted squirrels hadn't made off with my stash of leaves again.

* * *

When I returned from my lavatory sojourn (yes, it had been a while - wretched squirrels), the clearing was strangely quiet. Casting my sharp-eyed gaze around, I beheld Just Alice sitting alone by the fire. Her Vassal, um, Hatter, was nowhere to be seen.

Upon inquiring of his whereabouts, she muttered something quite unintelligible that ended with something akin to 'eat his hat for all I care'. Apparently, Just Alice was not one to suffer fools and the Vassal Hatter must have acted or spoken in a manner most foolish indeed for her to have become so completely irate with him.

Poor lad. Nothing quite so dreadful as to have a woman perturbed at you. Especially one of Just Alice's fire and demeanor. I wondered if she had swung anything at his head. Best not to ask.

We sat awhile in the quietness. She alone with her thoughts and the Red King remaining blessedly out of mine. I was curious as to what had transpired between my fellow adventurers. Just Alice was not very forthcoming however and so I left her to it. After extinguishing the campfire, I offered her the bed 'neath the tree and subsequently adjourned to my comfy hammock.

As I was falling asleep, I noticed the Vassal Hatter had returned unnoticed by Just Alice. He had propped himself up against the wooden railings within eye line of her, as though he was keeping watch over her even in his sleep. Woven hat perched on his right knee, left arm propped on a low wooden pole, he looked uncomfortable. Perhaps, I should have strung up an extra hammock for him as well. Well, tomorrow then, if they stayed.

Laying my dear teddy upon my chest and resting my hands comfortably upon it, I soon drifted into a deep slumber and commenced to dream. In my adventurous imaginings, Just Alice of Legend vanquished the Queen of Hearts and returned peace to the whole realm. After her victory, she departed through the Looking Glass and sometime later, a man followed after her. His distinct features escaped me, but he may have been wearing a hat.

Distant singing wafted through the dream haze. "Hey nonny, nonny . . ." Zephyrs of yearning that the gallant knights had returned once more to Wonderland drifted through my hopeful spirit.

* * *

**Okay, the squirrel thing is becoming a running gag. But, come on. Have you _seen_ their beady little eyes? They're up to something. I just know it. ;)**


	5. My Epic Quest Begins

I do not own Syfy's Alice. I do not own Hatter. Shame.

Tales of the White Knight

Chapter 5: My Epic Quest Begins

* * *

Loud crashing, banging sounds accompanied by irritated crow caws harshly aroused me from my slumber. Startled, I flipped out of my hammock and landed on the hard, unforgiven ground. Paying no heed to my aching body, I arose with alarm and responded to the Vassal Hatter's inquiry without realizing he had posed the question.

"That's the Early Warning System! Someone has broken through the perimeter!"

I hastened to battle, searching for a lethal weapon with which to defend against intruders. Vassal Hatter seemed to be moving more slowly than I. Curse him! Did he not sense it? War was upon us!

He spoke words, laden with dread, which I did not immediately comprehend due to my heightened sense of urgency. I grasped a large metal ladle in my hands and cast my gaze in all directions, primed for combat.

"Battle stations!"

The time was at hand!

"Sound the order of the Seraphim!"

All to arms!

"Drum!"

Rally the troops!

"Fife!"

Ready for a gallant encounter!

"Pickle!"

Well, I don't know.

My excited movements caused me to collide with the unmoving Vassal Hatter who stood transfixed by something hanging from the wooden ladder. In my urgent preparations, I had not noticed it. A purple coat.

Did it not belong to Just Alice? Why was it there?

Suddenly, Vassal Hatter's earlier words echoed in my head. "Where's Alice?"

Oh, no.

He shouted an angry denial, staring fixedly at the hanging garment. When he next spoke, the words were not so much of a request as an absolute statement.

"I need a horse."

Oh, no.

The Vassal Hatter stormed off, resolutely, in the direction of Guinevere. I followed, quite unnerved and struggling to catch up with the events that were unfolding so rapidly. He had me at a clear disadvantage I must admit, already wholly dressed and I still in my undergarments.

No matter. I, the White Knight, would regain the upper hand of this situation soon enough! Perhaps finding my sabatons would be a good start. A knight appears more knightly when he is actually wearing his shoes.

Hatter led Guinevere quickly led to her tack and began his preparations. As he began saddling the docile horse, I stood aside, uncharacteristically at a loss for words and action.

"Which way should we go?"

Why ever would she leave without any explanation or companions? Did she not know it was dangerous? Why, she had even neglected to take her coat! She could catch cold. Whatever could have possessed you, my Just Alice?

"You don't have to come, Charlie. This isn't your fight." Vassal Hatter spoke dismissively without turning around.

How _dare_ he? And here I had thought I had been making progressive strides with the boy! Quite obviously, I had been mistaken. I immediately launched my vicious verbal assault upon his hatted head.

"You couldn't be more wrong! You led the Alice of Legend to me for a reason!"

Oh, worried, I was so worried about her!

"Call it what you will – divinity, fate . . . "

No! I would not be tossed aside and left out of this fight! Not I, The White Knight!

". . . an alignment of forces beyond moral understanding!"

The time had finally come to restore the honor and nobility of the knights! A chance to right all my wrongs and save the realm!

"In time, you'll see that I am the true paladin here and you are merely a harbinger!"

Harbinger, yes, a fine definition for the audacious lad. He was indeed a messenger, a herald, bringing the Just Alice of Legend to me. And now, to tally forth on my righteous quest!

Oh . . . my back. Urgh . . . not now! Oooo . . . bit of a strain, lecturing at the insolent boy.

Solider on, Charlie! You must stand and be counted in this! But how was I to prove my worth? Ah, yes!

"Besides, you'll never find her without my help."

Despite my aching back, I forced myself to stand tall and proud in my tattered undergarments.

"Remember, I am also well-versed in the black arts!"

And now, a truly fantastic display for my doubting Vassal-Harbinger! I employed my most esoteric of facial expressions and turned away to focus my energies into the ether.

"We shall be guided by my psychic connection to the mysterious sinews that bind mankind to the outer realm!"

And now with the grand hand and facial gestures! And the mystic mumblings! And the closed eyes!

I sensed that the Harbinger Hatter was now astride my mare Guinevere and travelling away, quite likely in the wrong direction. Foolish boy. Time to take the reins of this adventure and lead on, Brave Knight!

"You're going the wrong way, Harbinger! We should go west."

He replied simply, "You go west. I'm going east."

That broke my reverie. He seemed so, so _certain_. I turned to face him, my grandeur gone.

"Why?"

He spoke words of doom for my poor Just Alice of Legend. "She's going to the Hearts Casino."

I stared after him, dread forming icicles in my heart.

"But that's certain death." Oh, my dear child Alice. What are you doing? "Why would she go there?"

* * *

Marshalling my courage, I donned my armor as quickly as possible and rode off after the Harbinger Hatter. He caught sight of me and appeared irritated. No doubt he felt outclassed by having such a brave, valiant knight as I riding alongside him to rescue the Just Alice of Legend. Poor lad.

We mutually planned our assault as we travelled along. He suggested a stealthy approach, which I supposed would be wise considering he clearly was no warrior.

At the Hearts Casino, the Harbinger Hatter bade me to stand behind him and "play along". Then he banged on the backdoor of the Hearts Casino four times.

When the door opened, Hatter spoke in a friendly manner to the tall, serious looking man blocking our entrance.

"Hi!" The Harbinger Hatter greeted him enthusiastically.

The guard looked at him with obvious suspicion and spoke in the same low and base dialect that Just Alice had used upon meeting me for the first time. Thetan's Ghost! Did everyone speak thusly outside of the Kingdom of the Knights?

"We're the new act," Harbinger Hatter replied lightly. "Robinson and . . . Duckworth."

Codenames! Ooo, delightful! Clever boy!

Harbinger Hatter gestured to me, then to himself as he continued speaking. "He's Robinson. I'm Duckworth."

Fitting names! Very accurate indeed! How absolutely delicious!

"We're guardians to the mesmeric portals of the cosmos."

Ah, stealing some of my material already? Naughty, naughty boy! Ha ha!

The guard appeared completely confounded by our brilliant deception. Dimwit.

The Harbinger Hatter clarified for the dullard. "Stage hypnotists."

My glee at fooling this idiot made me giddy. "This is good fun," I murmured, unable to stop myself.

The Harbinger Hatter glanced back at me, clearly enjoying this ruse as much as I and then continued nattering to the slow-witted guard.

"He means the act . . ."

He spoke on, but I became lost in the mesmerizing flow of his speech and clever movements. He removed his hat and caught it by the brim with his right hand, threw it behind his back, and deftly caught it once more with his right hand, flipping it once over.

Astounding!

Then he performed his most amazing feat yet, flipping the woven hat casually high into the air. I followed it with my eyes alight with wonder and joy.

Brilliant!

It came down and landed slightly lopsided on his head and he pushed it over just a tad with his right hand.

Why, he _did_ indeed possess his own brand of showmanship, did he not? Hmm, perhaps I should begin learning hat tricks. The skill might prove useful one day. Now, where to obtain a knightly hat?

The befuddled guard looked back into the darkened interior of the room and spoke. "You got clearance for stage hypnotists?"

Meanwhile, Harbinger Hatter flexed his much used right hand and looked down at it, curling it tightly into a fist.

Now, really, what was he planning to do with that puny little thing?

He whistled to gain the sentry's attention and promptly punched him hard in the face, rendering him unconscious on the floor.

Oh my! That was quite a hit! Perhaps I have been underestimating the, Vas . . . er . . . Harb . . . er . . . Hatter.

* * *

**Well, it appears that Hatter has finally garnered some respect with our knight Charlie. Took awhile. What do you think?**

**Next up, the valiant rescue!**


	6. My Valliant Rescue of Alice of Legend

I do not own Syfy's Alice. I do not own Hatter. Shame.

Tales of the White Knight

Chapter 6: My Valliant Rescue of Alice of Legend

* * *

We came out into a large airy corridor with white washed walls and a shiny marble floor. Several females garbed in odd plastic costumes and red caps walked to and fro.

The Hatter led the way, tipping his hat to a pair of absurdly red-wigged females. I walked slowly in amazement at the grandeur before me. What an incredible place to behold!

The Hatter passed me by, speaking so quickly that I only caught the last sentence.

". . . split up and search intermediate floors," he directed, walking purposefully ahead.

"Why?" I countered. That would take forever, you silly boy.

"Why?" He looked baffled. "Because we don't know where she is."

Oh, Hatter. How little have you learned. You really must try to pay attention, my lad. Time to take the lead, Charlie.

"I shall reach into the mist to lift the heavy veil that shrouds the Oracle . . ."

I chanted my meditation, only temporarily distracted by two particularly attractive females admiring my mystic performance. Hello, _ladies_! Hmm, indeed.

The Hatter watched me carefully, his expression anxious, no doubt hopeful for a solution to our conundrum of locating Just Alice. He approached and stood close, obviously riveted and prepared to catch my critical forthcoming revelation. He may have even spoken words of encouragement to me, though I can't be for certain.

And . . . Thetan's Ghost! I had it! Pointing, I spoke rapidly before it escaped me.

"Down here! Take the second left at the stairs that lead up to the third floor! Then after the double doors, take the third walkway on the right! Over the fitness center to Reception B and ask Shelia!"

Magnificent!

The Hatter was a bit slow in absorbing all I had prophesied.

"Shelia?" he inquired doubtfully.

Well, yes, maybe that was a bit of an odd name.

"Maybe it's Shakena," Always room for a bit of improvisation, yes?

Oh, who cares? Time is short, Hatter, really!

"Come on!"

And on I sallied forth to the rescue of Just Alice of Legend!

* * *

The path to Just Alice of Legend was as I had foretold, of course.

I perused the fascinating space in which I found myself while the Hatter opened two large sliding doors leading to an inner room and retrieved Just Alice of Legend. I heard, rather than saw, the rescue as I was mindfully searching for a way out of the odd area.

Just Alice of Legend excitedly inquired as to our appearance. The Hatter had no explanation for her and I was too preoccupied at the moment to explain it all. Though we had gotten in easily enough (the details were a bit fuzzy I must say), there appeared to be no door out.

"Believe it or not, we're in your head," I offered. Wasn't it obvious by all the pictures of her on the walls?

Concentrating all my psychic energy on the obstacle at hand, I shut out the angry voices emanating from the room from which Alice had escaped. Investigating the solid wall in front of me with my mystic powers, I chanted and willed the exit to show itself.

O happy day! It actually worked!

The outlet revealed itself and I stood aside, nobly, proudly as Just Alice of Legend and her Hatter fled before me.

"Day-o!"

I scrambled after them. Thetan's Ghost, they were fast! The Hatter led back the way we had come with Just Alice of Legend following close behind. At the stairs, my lungs constricted within my knightly armor and I paused for a quick breather.

Come on, Charlie, you can do this! You're a Knight! A Knight! Solider on, man! That's the spirit! Just keep breathing! That's the key!

Several suits pursued from behind. Upon reaching lobby, I observed the exits there were blocked as well by oncoming Suits. I bravely (very bravely) led Just Alice of Legend and the Hatter to the only remaining escape route, an indoor lift.

The Hatter pulled his foot in just as the doors closed. Suits banged on the door, unable to gain access as I had pressed and held a button reading "Close doors" immediately upon entering the tiny chamber. The Hatter pushed me back against the far wall and pressed buttons of his own.

Just Alice of Legend immediately engaged him with her usual fire and passion.

"Up? Why up?"

Even to me, this seemed to be jumping the gun at little. Should not the fair maiden express appreciation to her valiant rescuers before beginning a tirade?

"Do we have a choice?" The Hatter countered, obviously experiencing the same frustration as I.

Perhaps Alice of Legend would respond more favorably to words of the dignified White Knight. Someone she respected highly, such as myself, could get through to her at this crucial moment in time. I stepped forward and presented myself graciously unto the fair maiden.

"Alice of Legend, your presence in this world is no accident! You are here for a reason!"

She turned away for a moment, obviously overwhelmed with grand implication of my proclamation.

"Please, Charlie, it's just plain Alice."

Ah, sweet maiden! Your modesty and humility doth pierce mine heart with admiration and devotion!

"Just Plain Alice, I will stand at your side, shoulder to shoulder, knee to wobbly knee . . ."

The breathless Hatter rebuffed my declarations and bade me wait to proclaim my allegiance to Just Plain Alice. Ah, of course, she had just been traumatized and perhaps required a moment of quiet repose before solidifying our alliance against the wicked Queen of Hearts.

My most humblest of apologies, my delicate Just Plain Alice.

"You guys shouldn't have come!" She re-launched her verbal assault against the Hatter. "You could get yourselves killed!"

Or perhaps not.

"Did you give the ring up, Alice?" The Hatter asked, greatly concerned for my historic relic.

Oh, what a ridiculous question, you silly boy. The Great Just Plain Alice of Legend would never surrender the precious Stone of Wonderland!

"Look, I have things under control!" she lashed back at him.

Well, _of_ _course_, she did. The Great Just Plain Alice of Legend would never allow herself to be taken for a fool! 'Twas silly to even consider otherwise.

"You tried to cut a deal with the Queen, didn't ya?" The Hatter questioned.

A shadow seemed to pass over my fair maiden's countenance. She hesitated.

"I was getting close."

Well, that proved it then. She was completely mad! No one negotiated with the Queen of Hearts and _lived_! Oh, my dear, sweet, Just Plain Alice of Legend. You've just dropped right off the edge, haven't you?

As their argument continued, a new revelation dawned upon me. As it clarified in my head, I discreetly edged away from the heated exchange.

How had I not noticed before? The Hatter was completely, absolutely enamored of Just Plain Alice of Legend! He was utterly smitten with her! He knew it and it was written all over him!

And as they continued to squabble, I realized that she was attracted to him as well! And still more astonishing, she was not even aware of it! So consumed was she with her quest that she was unwilling to face the reality of her feelings for him.

Fascinating! How could anyone be so deluded as to not be mindful of what was so very apparent?

I closely studied the intricate wall patterns of the indoor lift in an effort to provide them with as much privacy as I could for what was clearly a lover's quarrel.

Until a shocking statement suddenly drew me back into the conversation.

". . . because he's her son!" she confessed.

The Hatter appeared stunned. "The Prince?"

The poor damsel was bathed in mortification. She could not even look directly at the boy. He glanced at me as if petitioning for an explanation or an ally in this rapidly unraveling situation.

"Jack Heart? Jack Heart is your _boyfriend_?"

The Hatter repeated it again, as though it would make more sense to him a second time. But all it did was hurt them both all the more.

Poor children. What would a true Knight say in a circumstances such as this? I could think of nothing that might suffice.

The indoor lift must have also felt the emotional agony of the situation because it finally arrived at its destination. The tinny bell dinged and the doors slid open, revealing a much more pressing matter.

* * *

**Thanks to ImagineWho and Mycha for your continued encouragement and reviews! You're fantastic!**


	7. My Glorious Fight and Flight

I do not own Syfy's Alice. I do not own Hatter. Shame.

Tales of the White Knight

Chapter 6: My Glorious Fight and Flight

* * *

More Suits!

The Hatter and Just Plain Alice of Legend moved out to engage them and I followed slightly behind, taking a moment to . . . formulate my plan of attack, yes that was it!

The Hatter swung at a Spade Suit and unfortunately missed. The Suit countered him with a solid punch to the face and off flew his namesake hat. I could be of no use to him for the moment. I had my own adversary with which to do battle.

Protect the maiden, Brave Knight!

"Behind me, Alice," I nobly directed her.

Drawing myself up to my full height, I looked upon my Ace of Spades adversary with disdain. My wroth would be terrible indeed! No one threatens the Just Plain Alice of Legend without retribution!

I reached down, wrapped my hand around the Royal Sword, and . . . it stuck. Blast.

Mine adversary stepped forward to duel, but I halted him with a gesture. Rules of engagement, now, rules of engagement. We must be gentlemanly, of course.

I resumed my efforts to wrench my sword from its scabbard only to have the brute punch me in the face! Bug bashing swine! As I crumpled unceremoniously to the ground, vanquished in shame, Just Plain Alice of Legend stepped forward to combat the ruffian.

Now, honestly, what could she, such a delicate, willowy female, accomplish that I could not?

She answered his punch to me with one of her own and dodged several wild throws from him with apparent ease. Then, as I was beginning to rise slowly from the ground, she expertly flipped him over onto his side to the unyielding ground. When he rose once more to press his assault, she grabbed him by his coat and tossed him over her body to land yet again hard on the ground.

By Jove, where had she learned such strength and tactics?! I say, well done! You are indeed an Alice of Legend!

By this time, I had gained my footing once more and stood ready to reclaim the fight from Just Plain Alice of Legend, who by this time, must surely be flagging in her strength. I lurched heroically over to the miscreant and uttered my final words of judgment unto him.

"Bow to the hand of Diocles!" I proclaimed grandly.

And promptly smashed my righteous fist down onto his head, effectively rendering him unconscious. Aha! I knew I would emerge victorious! Well . . . we.

The Hatter returned, apparently victorious as well, considering he was still conscious and mobile. His head had even regained its hat. Good for the lad.

"What now?" Alice inquired of us, her valiant guardians.

Well, that's quite a good ques . . .

Oh, do mine eyes deceive me? What is this new wonderment?

I made a direct line toward them and . . . it was!

"Articulated birds of the Empyrean! What genius!"

Oh, the ingenuity! Oh, the craftsmanship! How astounding! I was beside myself with elation!

As Just Plain Alice of Legend and her Hatter began yet _another_ battle of words, I eased myself onto the apparatus carefully. 'Twould be right unknightly of me to overbalance and tumble down. Again.

I sat astride it, openly admiring the power and artistry of the fantastic mechanism. I hardly dared to touch it for disturbing the complexities of so fine an invention!

Gleefully, I flexed my hands several times in anticipation of operating the craft. I heard distant popping sounds interrupt my companions' argument, but so heady with excitement was I in anticipation of actually _flying_ that I paid no heed.

". . . thing about flying!" Her voice sounded close to hysteria.

"Yeah, I've got a thing about bullets!" he countered adamantly.

Oh, children, children. There is no call for alarm. Surely no harm shall befall you. Your White Knight is here!

"Now, how do you get it to fly?" I mused, examining it closely and twitching my stylish goatee a bit in concentration.

I curiously pressed a large red button on the back of the flamingo's head and immediately shot off into the sky. My undignified scream trailed behind me as I soared into the blue heavens.

A few moments later, Just Plain Alice of Legend and her Hatter pulled alongside me, flying speedily together on a flamingo. He at the helm and she gripping him tightly.

For a fleeting moment, I wondered how Just Plain Alice of Legend felt about being so close to her Hatter. Or he to her for that matter.

Ahhh! Air pocket!

I re-centered my attention to the task at hand. Particularly, remaining in flight and _not_ plummeting from the sky.

"We are angels!" I almost sang it in my bliss. "The wind and clouds at our command!"

"Oh, heavenly joy!" I exclaimed in my joy and almost overbalanced. Focus, Charlie!

More gunshots! Pursued again! Could they not allow me the enjoyment of my flight just for a bit longer? Blast!

And I was hit! Well, the flamingo, rather. Either way, the outcome was the same.

"I'm going down!" I called out and held on for my dear life as my flamingo plunged downward toward the pristine blue lake below.

I heard Just Plain Alice of Legend and her Hatter call out to me, but there was nothing to be done. I held on in terror and waited for the inevitable. Gripping the neck of the flying contraption, I prayed the knights would welcome me into their fold despite the fact I had met my untimely demise by so dishonorably crashing a flying pink flamingo into an overly large pond.

I hit the water at terrific speed and knew no more.

* * *

I sat upon a stump in front of a small campfire on the loch's edge, once again adorned in only my undergarments. They were damp but finally beginning to dry. Upon removing my chainmail armor, I had hung it from driftwood so that it would dry and not rust. Well, not rust _more_.

At present, I held my damp gauntlet aloft on a stick over the fire. I warbled mournfully to the firmaments for the glory and loss of the knights and for the glory and perhaps loss of Just Plain Alice of Legend and her Hatter.

Those heavy skies, thick with their cloudy grief. Oh, I could have sworn they were bright and sunny as we were flying high among them. My, how quickly things do ch . . .

"Charlie!"

Was that my Just Plain Alice of Legend calling out to me from the Beyond? No, it seemed closer. I looked behind me and beheld them both, my lost companions, loping out of the bracken toward me. Delighted, I tossed down my gauntleted stick, rising in delight.

"Ah, thank goodness!"

Alice approached, an open smile on her beautiful face, arms out, welcoming a friendly embrace. I reached for her, relieved to see that she was unharmed.

"I just about to go back in the water and look for you again!" I found myself saying. Well, of course I was. Just a brief respite was all I had intended here, surely.

Squeezing her tightly, I patted her back, and gabbled gleeful nonsense. I cast my grateful gaze over her shoulder to the Hatter, who approached slowly, sodden hat in hand.

Oh, he had kept her safe! Oh wonderous day! I was so glad to see them both that I might well hug him next if I ever let go of Alice.

She seemed to be slackening her grasp and vocalizing the end of our reunion embrace. Oh. Right. Of course. I released her, somewhat regretfully, and moved back.

The Hatter spoke in a newly cordial manner to me. "How'd you get ashore with all that armor on?"

Ah, would his admiration for me never end? Sweet lad.

"I'm a knight!" I reminded him benevolently whilst wringing out a wet sock in my hands.

Truthfully, Charlie. Mentor the lad while there is now camaraderie between you.

"Plus, I invented a very useful little whirly jigamathing," I twirled the sock for demonstration, ". . . which I can't tell you about." I informed them decisively.

"It's classified, patent pending, very hush-hush," I tapped my extraordinary nose conspiratorially at Alice, "and that sort of thing."

I nodded confidently, as I was sure she fathomed the high secrecy of my invention, and resumed my seat on the convenient log. The Hatter spoke as he began to walk, soggy hat on his shaggy head once more.

"We should get off this beach before we get spotted."

Yes, good idea!

"No." Alice stated simply.

Of course.

The Hatter paused for a moment and then slowly turned to face her.

"No?" he questioned in irritation.

Oh no, not this _again_.

Alice explained. "Listen guys, I'm really grateful for what you did. Getting me out of the Casino . . ."

Finally, some well-deserved recognition. You are most welcome, my dear sweet Just Plain Alice of Legend! Most welcome indeed!

". . . but I have to go back."

Blast.

They commenced arguing again and seemed to forget I was there. Couldn't these two agree on _anything_? 'Twas truly becoming tiresome.

Any fool could see that he was reaching out in his devotion to aid her and that she was so focused on her mission that she kept pushing him away over and over again.

And oh dear heavens, I did try to stay out of it. Nevertheless, a few snippets drifted over me as they raised their voices.

". . . sounds to me like he was using you!" The Hatter stated emphatically.

Who? Who would dare use my sweet maiden Alice? Point me in his direction and I shall dispatch him directly!

"And you're not?"

Ah, remove thy dagger from out his heart, Alice! Oh my precious child, are you truly so very blind?

". . . goes by a codename."

The Hatter glanced at me. Oh, please leave me out of this, dear boy. Can you not see I'm trying to be invisible here? She'll surely attack me next.

". . . stay with Charlie in the fortress." Well, I suppose that was my cue. "You'll be safe there."

I nodded in affirmation as I stood once again. Of course, the fortress. Now that sounded _good_. That sounded _safe_. For the dear maiden, of course.

I stood next to the Hatter and gazed at Just Plain Alice of Legend. Oh my, did I detect a hint of fear and distrust in her eyes? Was she afraid he would leave her and never return? How very interesting.

* * *

**Ah, yes. Hatter's "slow burn" turn. I swear, I would argue with him just to see that in action. Ahem, well, anyway . . . ;)**

**For a good laugh, Youtube "Syfy's Alice Behind the Scenes" and watch a hilarious outtake of Hatter and Alice's flamingo flight! (Not mine, though I wish it were.)**


	8. My Darkest Sin Revealed

I do not own Syfy's Alice. I do not own Hatter. Shame.

Tales of the White Knight

Chapter 8: My Darkest Sin Revealed

* * *

Alice and I reposed in the quiet ruins of the fortress once more. Alice rested unpretentiously upon soft furs on the ground while I perched on a discarded crate across from her. Pulling long, thin twigs from a basket near my feet, I broke them languidly across my knee and placed them in a metal pan at the base of the campfire.

While doing so, I quietly sang my archaic refrain. 'Twas really out of habit I must admit. Human sounds to fill the emptiness of my isolation. Sometimes I hardly noticed I was doing so at all anymore.

Alice clasped something in her delicate right hand. The reverence with which she held it deemed it something quite precious. Gazing down, she rubbed her fingers lovingly over it in almost a constant movement.

Something of the Hatter's, perhaps? No, upon closer inspection, I realized she held her father's wristwatch. Ah yes, she had mentioned it a few moments before.

Seeing her usually impenetrable countenance so softened with concern and longing drew me out of my own reverie. I considered her, my preparations stilling. So brave. So determined.

"How old were you when your father disappeared?"

She looked up at me and for a long moment I thought she would chose not to speak. Then she drew herself together with resolve and responded heavily.

"Ten."

Yes, it would be ten. The end of her childhood. A central moment fixed in time. When nothing would ever be the same for her again. Everything about her radiated out from that moment.

"Must have been quite a shock," I sympathized quietly.

Oh, what big, sad, doe-like eyes you have, my dear Alice. So fraught with abandonment and pain. Would that I, or someone, could take the sorrow from you so that you might live in peace and contentment.

She smiled through her heartache. "You know how kids are. Blame themselves for stuff like that."

Ah, yes, indeed I did know. Her honesty inspired the reclaiming of my own long buried truth. Should I tell her? Should I disclose my darkest sin to this honorable young woman? I had never voiced it openly in all these years. The Red King knew of course. He whispered it into my head almost daily.

She seemed to sense my inner turmoil, for she spoke gently. "You okay?"

I wanted to confess it. To just one person. To her. Dare I? Perhaps if I did, it would not weigh so heavily upon me. Surely those clear-blue eyes would forgive me and grant me the absolution the Red King never had.

I may have sat there for a year or only a few moments before I spoke. When I finally did speak, it was without bravado, without embellishment. I simply spoke as a man. An old man, filled with regret.

"I was ten once."

Had I been waiting all these years for her to be here now so that she may take my confession?

"I was ten when the armies came."

My voice spoke into the present, but my mind drifted back into the past. The long-buried past, now exhumed and brought forth, ripe to bursting with all the rotting, squirming maggots of remorse and shame. I presented it to Alice without amendment or pretext.

"One of three squires to the _real_ White Knight."

Oh, I had been so proud, so proud to serve in such a trustworthy position. So childishly proud.

"My job was to carry the great lance."

So heavy, yes, it had been so heavy to my small arms. But I had never let on how my limbs had trembled to hold it. And now I carried it, just as heavily, within my heart.

"And when it mattered . . ."

Oh my shame, my terrible shame. Shall I really speak these words aloud so that she may hear them?

". . . when I was needed most . . ."

That day would be forever seared into the space behind my eyes. Would I never be free of its burden of guilt?

"I lost my nerve . . . and I ran."

There. I had said it. The words were free, released into the world so that any may hear. And the pain. The twisting pain in my soul that I had attempted to set free. It remained.

I could not bear to gaze into those guileless eyes of my brave Alice. She continued to watch me, I knew, but no I could not bear to look upon her just yet. The perpetual coward. Oh, my soul.

To avoid her acumen, I resumed breaking the sticks. Yes, I would speak to them. They could not pass judgment upon me with their depthless blue eyes for they had none. I concentrated on them instead but could still feel her unwavering gaze penetrating me to my very core.

Complete the story now, Gutless Weakling, before your wretched heart splinters from grief.

"I hid for three days."

Yes, those three horrible days. Terrified, weeping with fear and shame and regret. Sometimes I felt I was there even now, cowering in dark places where unseen entities watched me with their sagacious orbs. Knowing I had been weighed, measured, and found wanting. I would always be found wanting.

"And when I came out . . ."

Yes, sneaking, trembling, terrified, dreading in my heart what I'd find . . .

"Everyone was dead."

Their bodies moldering and rotting. Their lifeless eyes condemning me. Knowing that, by rights, I should be with them. The stench of the decaying corpses. The stench of my contemptible soul.

"Even the magnificent Red King up there on his throne."

I looked to him. Yes, him I could face. I'd been facing him all the days of my life. 'Twas with a terrible effort. But less so than facing Alice. She with her liquid eyes and unquenchable bravery. I did not deserve to look upon her lovely face.

"At first I wished that I'd died with them."

My tears of shame mixing with the earth I buried them in. Just me alone to inter so many. When my hands bled from the exertion and my body cried out in the struggle of my toil, I told myself it was part of my just penance for my unpardonable sin.

Wishing to die. Contemplating all the ways I could die. Too much of a coward to make it come to pass. So much time spent, wasted, lost in a haze of shame and regret.

"But after a while, a deeper feeling took over."

I glanced at her, meaning to look into her virtuous face, but managing only to reach her hands. Those small, strong hands, never faltering in their undertakings. Even that was too much at the moment and I withdrew my gaze.

"I wanted a second chance."

Yes, my deepest desire.

"I wanted to avenge them."

And in doing so, absolve myself of my greatest sin.

"So I stole the White Knight's armor."

The experience of it rendered me nearly catatonic for days. Knowing he was blaming me, and rightly so, for his death. Knowing that I had no call to don or even touch his armor.

It loomed behind me now I knew, for I had placed it reverently there. And in some ways, the real White Knight still resided within, examining me.

". . . his name . . ."

Yes, to forsake my own craven identity. To abandon who I had been and be reborn as someone better. Perhaps that is why I acted so outlandishly at times. The painful knowledge I did not deserve to be the real White Knight, but only a fraud; so I could not present myself with the quiet dignity that he had. I had to act larger than life to hide how small I really was.

I glanced at Alice again for an instant and managed to raise my gaze to her chin before looking away again.

". . . his courage . . ."

I finally met her honest, blue eyes. She still looked directly upon me and for that, I loved her. 'Tis not easy to look fully upon the face of an utter charlatan. A few tears slipped from my eyes as I smiled sadly at her.

"And I waited for the right time."

So long waiting alone. Just me, the Red King, the squirrels and my inventions to sustain me. Of course, the squirrels were only a silly distraction from the dreadful gaze of the Red King. I had always known that.

"When you showed up, I knew the right time had finally arrived."

Oh, my sweet child. All my hopes of repaying my unpayable debt hinge on you, don't you see?

And that is why you, Alice Hamilton, you are the savior of the Knights, the whole of Wonderland, and me, Charlie, former squire to the real White Knight.

For without you, we will all surely be lost and become no more.

* * *

**This is a heavily emotional chapter. I hope I have done justice for our poor soul Charlie. :)**


	9. The Beginning of the End

I do not own Syfy's Alice. I do not own Hatter. Shame.

Tales of the White Knight

Chapter 9: The Beginning of the End

* * *

We sat together in companionable silence for a while, Alice and I. The pain in my heart slowly eased and I continued on with my chores until they were done. She seemed even more contemplative than usual after my revelation. Eventually donning her purple velvet jacket once more, Alice informed me that she was going for a walk along the hilltop.

Ah, yes, of course. Waiting for your Hatter to return to you, Alice? Hoping he will, fearing he will not? Yes, I may be an old man, but I can see that. You need not worry. Your Hatter will always return to you. Just let him in, yes? Just give him a chance. While you are both young and there is still time. Go on now, Alice. Search your heart while you search for him.

I decided to recline in my hammock for a bit. An emotional afternoon it had been and I was in need of some meditative repose.

"Charlie!"

The name burst through my fleeting dreams and I overturned roughly onto the ground before my eyes had opened. Lurching awake, I rose shakily, once again donning my knightly façade to face . . . the Hatter.

Ah, good, he had returned unscathed. Alice would be most glad, though she would try to hide it. As though it wouldn't be blatantly obvious to anyone blessed with eyes.

"You're supposed to be looking after Alice," Hatter reprimanded me.

I hovered behind him, my teddy grasped protectively in my hands, perfectly curled goatee dangling over his shoulder.

"I know what you're thinking, but I wasn't really asleep." I re-assured him quickly, wringing my teddy anxiously in my hands.

No, of course not. Good men do not fall asleep on their watch. I, um . . .

"I simply let my soul lift out of its mortal shell to stand sentry on a higher plane . . ."

I chuckled to myself. Yes, that's it. Of course, that was the plan.

He turned, ignoring my offered explanation, and requested the only information important to him.

"Where's Alice?"

Ah, yes. Your fair maiden awaits you, Hatter. She may not yet be willing to embrace her feelings, but she waits. Have patience with her and do not abandon hope. And for goodness sake, do not hurt her. She has suffered enough. Go on then, lad.

* * *

After the Hatter departed to seek out Alice, (Thetan's Ghost, I hoped he was able to proclaim his love for her before they sided off in _another_ argument) I reclined once again in my hammock.

Now, where was I . . . hmm . . . zzzzz . . .

The crow cawing startled me and as I started to rise from my hammock, it broke and crashed me to the ground. Oh! That would leave a bruise on my undercarriage and back! To go along with my bruised bits from the flamingo ride, I suppose.

I lurched up from the ground, teddy still in hand, and rushed to verify . . .

"That's the West Wall!"

Oh no, what could be descending upon us now? I hurried to investigate and . . . ouch!. . . fuzzy world . . . oh, black day . . .

* * *

I heard the quiet footsteps of Alice and her Hatter approaching down the trail. I almost didn't recognize their sounds for they were not arguing. Had they finally professed their love for one another?

I lay trussed hand and foot on the ground. The brute had stunned me with a single blow and when I was lucid again, warned me not to interfere. Without my interference, no harm would befall Alice or her Hatter.

Poor fool. Obviously he did not know with whom he was dealing. Even with me incapacitated, Alice and her Hatter could dispense with him quick enough if they so chose. I had learned that much from my short time with them.

From my place on the ground, I could only hear and not see Alice and her Hatter. As the pair of them drew closer, her worry and concern must have been evident, for he inquired as to her wellbeing. She responded with the first unguarded statement that I had ever heard her voice to him.

"What if I get stuck here?"

I could imagine those big blue eyes of hers searching his dark ones. He would be rendered helpless against them, no doubt. They were quite spellbinding. And he was a man in love.

"Then I'll make sure you're okay," he responded with quiet commitment.

Ah, they _were_ making progress then. Good. The Hatter murmured something I could not quite hear and then there was silence. Was he kissing her? Was she letting him? Be gentle, dear boy, be gentle. She's as skittish as a deer with her feelings and trust. Go slowly.

Then the Prince of Wonderland broke the silence. "That's right, it is."

He strode out as if he owned the moment, my camp, Alice, and everything in it. What an unbearable codpiece he was!

"Hello, Alice," he said tightly. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

There he stood in his sleek purple suit, grasping a shining sword, completely in charge of everyone and everything around him. But he held no charge over my words!

"I know what you're thinking," I said lightly. "How could anyone sneak up on _me_ of all people? And in my own manor, too. "

I spoke mainly to the Hatter who had not been witness to my revelation of earlier. He would not forgive quite so graciously as my fair Alice. Ha ha! . . . oh, how very false of you, Charlie. 'Twould appear some habits are hard to discard indeed. My words rang false even to me, though I could not quite abandon the pretense.

My idiotic statement was blessedly overlooked and I resumed my silence once again.

I watched, helpless, as the Hatter, a man of action he was, ran forward with a large stick to engage the Prince of Hearts. He wielded it as though it were a sword.

Brave boy! Better though to throw down that stick and ready your sledgehammer of a hand instead. Though, maybe even he felt poorly about striking the Prince of Wonderland with his own self.

The Prince appeared unconcerned. "You think you can take me on with that?" He inquired contemptuously.

"I'm not an old man," Hatter stated threateningly.

What an offense! "Oi!"

He didn't know my sword was stuck! I might be a great adversary to the Prince! I might well could be ready at any moment to throw off these shackles and launch my valiant . . . oh, never mind.

And then my dear, sweet Alice ran up and as per usual, threw herself right into the middle of the impending fray. Standing between the two angered men, she held up a hand to each of them.

"Look, nobody is fighting unless it is me and I'm a black belt, remember?"

Black belt? She wore no such accessory. Oh dear, had the lingering moment with her Hatter addled her brain, poor thing?

* * *

**Initially, I was only going to touch on this scene but then I became so invested in it I basically just scripted it out here and in the next chapter. Hope you enjoy!**


	10. The Hatter's Brave Fight

I do not own Syfy's Alice. I do not own Hatter. Shame.

Tales of the White Knight

Chapter 10: The Hatter's Brave Fight

* * *

"Who's your friend?" The Prince inquired, somewhat accusingly.

Mind your tongue, you insipid fool! That "friend" is her cavalier! He has hardly left her side but to aid her in her quest and then return post haste! Where have _you_ been all this time? Brushing your pretty hair?!

"Just a friend," Alice replied, vaguely.

Oh, blast, dear girl! Shall you never come down off your hedgerow? Take a stand now with your Hatter!

"Yes, you two look pretty friendly."

Indeed, they are! And they shall become evermore friendlier if you would be so kind as to bugger off!

Alice looked the man square in the eye. "You jealous, Jack?"

Of course, he is! As well you should be, my idiotic Princeling! The Hatter hath been wooing her over barbequed borogove just last eve!

"A little." The Prince narrowed his haughty eyes at them both

But my maiden Alice would not be quelled. "Did I hear that right? The guy who's engaged to a duchess is worried about me?"

Day-o! Hit him in the bits again, my girl! Wait . . . duchess?

As Alice and the Prince continued their quarrel (finally, she quarreled with the right person), the Hatter stood close behind her. He appeared ready to jump into the fray at any time but, intelligent boy, let her fight this particular part of the battle for herself.

When the Prince insisted Alice come with him, the Hatter could stand it no longer. He advanced forward and confronted the Prince again.

"She's not going anywhere with you!"

Yes! To battle, Hatter! Fight for your damsel!

As the Prince made his appeal for her accompaniment out of the camp, Alice moved forward, closer to him. In doing so, she blocked out the Hatter and seemed to forget him entirely.

Oh my girl, are you so easily fooled? Please, I beg of you. We have come so far with you. Please do not now abandon us who truly love you.

Though she had created the empty space between them, the Hatter, however, never accepted the departure. He was completely invested in her welfare and her cause. His anger and distrust for the Prince was palpable.

Finally he could bear it no longer and, closing the distance between them, spoke.

"Don't tell me you trust this guy!"

Beseeching her to use her good logic. Endeavoring to draw her back to him. The two men waged a war of words over Alice until the Prince finally unleashed his secret weapon: Alice's father.

Alas, I knew then that the battle was lost for the Hatter. Alice had yearned for return of her father for so long. And nothing, not Jack the Prince of Hearts, nor Hatter the Loyal Companion was more important to her than him.

Then the Prince revealed his true mission. Alice's ring. My Stone of Wonderland. The way he spoke of it, I knew 'twas the real reason he had come. Not for Alice, but for the Stone. She held importance to him because of what she could do with the Stone.

My naïve Alice had been manipulated. The Prince did not love her as did the Hatter though he tried to convince her otherwise. Tried quite poorly, I might add. But he did need her just as much for his own purposes.

Oh, the injustice! Release me now so that I may throttle him properly!

True to his stalwart nature, the Hatter continued to fight for his Alice. He pleaded, he cajoled. He reached out to her once again and once again, she withdrew from him. And in the end, 'twas revealed that the Hatter had orchestrated his own demise in this battle.

Jack, the Prince of Hearts, was the agent Hatter had requested Caterpillar send. And as he spoke of his recruitment and efforts to bring down his mother, the Queen of Hearts, I knew Alice must go with him.

Blast.

When he once again asked Alice to make her decision between him and the Hatter, I could see the Prince had finally won. I could see the anguish on Alice's pale, drawn face. And I could see the grief threatening to escape the Hatter's eyes.

Stay strong, lad. Do not break before him. Hold firm until he is away. I am with you. Do not reward his victory with your tears. He is not worthy of them.

The Hatter dropped his weapon and withdrew his gaze from them both. Stepping away, his head moved last, as if attempting detach himself emotionally from his Alice. He was letting her go so that she would not have to live with the knowledge that _she_ had forsaken _him_.

Noble boy. I so admire your strength and selflessness. Oh, my soul. To be as knightly as you would be an honor.

The Prince asked once more for the Stone of Wonderland. And Alice, my Alice, she gave it to him.

"It's where it belongs," she told him, turning toward the Red King.

The Hatter and I had both begged her for it many a time and she had always staunchly refused. And now, to liberate her father, she finally relinquished the Stone of Wonderland to Jack, the Prince of Hearts.

She had placed it on the Red King's left ring finger prior to her departure while we slept. She had returned the Stone of Wonderland to its rightful owner all along.

The Prince trotted over and seized it from the Red Knight without so much as a shiver. The heartless cad.

"Under my very nose," I murmured. Clever girl, my Alice. Clever girl.

As the Prince was reunited with his true love, the Hatter bade his goodbye to his.

"I wish you all the luck in the world, Alice."

She insisted he accompany her, my loyal Alice did. He quietly refused, knowing the Prince would have no room for his company on this journey. The Prince concurred as the Hatter had known he would. And now that Alice was finally ready to fight for her Hatter, he stopped her.

"I wouldn't want to go with this guy anyway," his words spoken gently to her.

She gazed at him in utter turmoil. He turned away first, knowing she never would.

"What will you do?" she asked in concern and desperation.

I watched the dear boy, as he turned slowly, as though gathering the last of his strength. Up went the carefree façade and he threw forward one last show for her benefit.

"Me? You kidding?" he asked, false bravado radiating out from his shattered heart.

The fabricated guise. Ah, yes, you see, my friend Hatter, we are not so different in our defenses after all.

He gifted her a toothy grin and threw it at the Prince defiantly as well, but it faded as he gazed once more at his Alice.

"I'll be fine." He appeared to drink her in for what he believed was the last time. "Believe me, you're better off with this guy."

Oh my noble sir, you are completely right and completely wrong. She must go with this man, yes. But she needs us as well because we are the ones who truly care for her. And you know it.

"Go," the Hatter quietly admonished.

And turned away.

Before Alice and the Prince rode away on their horses, Alice released me from my bonds and hugged me tightly. She thanked me for my assistance. I returned her embrace without words. There were none left for me to say.

Then, Just Plain Alice Hamilton of Legend rode away from me.

* * *

**I realize Charlie has become quite involved in the developing relationship between Hatter and Alice. But, hey, he's a romantic! And really loyal to his friends. ;)**


	11. My Darkest Sin Repeated

I do not own Syfy's Alice. I do not own Hatter. Shame.

Tales of the White Knight

Chapter 11: My Darkest Sin Repeated

* * *

We stood upon the hilltop, the Hatter and I, and watched Alice depart with the Prince. Away from us. And though I knew it was the right thing for her to do, my heart grieved within me to see her go.

The Hatter nodded to himself as if resigned to this new development. I, however, could not accept Alice's departure so readily.

No, no! This could not be the end of our quest! We are her loyal guardians! Finally, I could bear it no longer. Alice needed me . . . _us_.

"I'm going after her," I announced desperately.

"No," the Hatter stated quietly, uncharacteristically subdued.

"I am sworn to protect her!" I restated adamantly.

Did he not believe in holding true to vows? Did he not understand the severity of the situation? She was leaving! Again! Without us! Again!

"Your work here is done, Brave Knight."

He spoke respectfully and complimented me on a job well done in his low and base dialect. All of his confidence and charm were gone, evaporated, quenched in the departure of his Alice. He appeared hollow. I despised it. I despised his _surrender_.

"But she's in safe hands now," he concluded, as if trying to convince himself.

Yes, I had no doubt Jack, the Prince of Hearts, would see her safely to her father and through the Looking Glass. The Hatter would not have allowed her to leave under any circumstances at all had he suspected otherwise.

The point is, foolish boy, that she is not in _our_ safe hands.

The horses had returned home, as per training, to the Kingdom of the Knights while we were crashing flamingos into the lake. Guinevere would prove a worthy equine companion to the Hatter. I gifted her to him so that he may not have to wander on foot. Then he departed as well, in gloom and despair.

The glade was too empty now and too quiet. My companions were gone and I was once more alone. 'Twas unbearable. Not even a single blasted squirrel. I wandered aimlessly about for a while, muttering to myself. Finally, I knew there was only one course of action for me.

I donned my armor in preparation for the journey. Patting my noble steed, I once again regretted not reapplying his peeling organic whitewash paint. He deserved better, he did. He was a good, loyal horse.

I set off on my quest.

* * *

I rode along, singing to the heavens in hope and lament. My ancient verse once again. My refuge. My solace. My age old hymn.

"Charlie!"

Knights be blessed! Could he approach me just once without yelling?

"Thetan's Ghost! You nearly scared me half to death!" I reprimanded angrily.

Beat, heart! Beat once more! Beat within my noble, wheezing chest!

"What're you doing?" The Hatter inquired suspiciously.

I shrugged, formulating my words carefully.

"Out taking a little . . . jaunt," I said nonchantlantly.

Yes, that was it. The majestic knight out on his daily excursion through his bailiwick.

"You're following them!" Hatter accused, eyes narrowing.

Yes, indeed I am! Fulfilling my vow to Alice . . .

. . . as you also appear to be doing.

"So are you!" I countered, straightening in my saddle.

Hatter shook his head dismissively, avoiding my penetrating gaze.

Come now, Hatter! We have no time for this nonsense! We must needs keep her safe! Abandon this ridiculous farce and reunite with me on our noble crusade!

"Don't you shake your head at me!" I rebuked him, frustrated. "When I gave you Guinevere, you said you were going to hide out in the hills! Well, these hills are not the hills!"

As I gestured around us in illustration of my point, I realized that my words were not entirely truthful. We were surrounded by hills actually. Hills here, hills there, hills everywhere. Hmm.

The Hatter sighed deeply. I drew myself up regally in my saddle.

I will fulfill my purpose here! And no one, not you nor the Prince of Hearts, will deter me!

"Come on, then," Hatter conceded.

Yes, we shall ride forth together!

"Try to keep up."

Now look here, _Vassal_, I shall not be treated this way by the likes of you!

"No, Harbinger! I am the knight! I will lead!"

I cajoled my aging stallion forward. Sally forth, noble steed! We shall stand and be counted! Onward! Come now, how about a little trot for Daddy then?

* * *

The Hatter and I snuck back into the city and eventually arrived at the Hospital of Dreams. We caught sight of a company of Suits as they marched in. So many Suits arrived that I feared for my Alice, and 'twas clear the Hatter was worried as well. The Hatter assured me grimly that when the Suits caught Alice, she would not be harmed. She would be taken to the Hearts Casino. The Queen would not allow Alice to be killed before toying with her first.

We hid 'round a corner for the opportune moment to present itself. Eventually, Prince Jack and Alice came out the front entrance. Blessed be the Oracle, she appeared to be unharmed. They were surrounded by Suits, a man in a brown plastic suit, and . . .

"Oh, black day!"

Was that a man's body walking with a giant white rabbit head atop it? What new devilry is this?

The entourage began to leave, no doubt heading toward the Hearts Casino just as Hatter had fortold.

"Okay, okay," Hatter began, turning to face me. "I know there are a lot of Suits out there. But if we let them get to the Casino, there's going to be a whole lot more. We have to take them now."

Yes indeed. A good plan. Wait . . . what?

He turned back to the departing troop. I stared in dismay at the back of his hatted head.

"Are you serious?"

The Hatter looked back at me, incredulous.

"Yes."

Had he gone mad?

Hatter continued speaking, listing our assets. "We've got surprise on our side. And we've got horses."

True enough, but did you see the creature with the great rabbit head?! The Hatter continued talking but I was lost in a bewilderment and missed most of his plan. I did catch a few phrases, among them "bottleneck", "swinging", and "grab Alice".

"I'm going to need a sword," he concluded.

Yes, very good, well, you see, um . . .

He turned to face me again, his countenance resolute.

"Show me what knights are made of."

Ah, knights! If course! Yes, well, you see, um . . .

And off he strode in determination, leaving me to stagger behind.

* * *

The Hatter positioned us in an alleyway between a dilapidated building and a yawning precipice. I sat astride my horse, positioned slightly behind him. He sat rigid in his saddle, recently acquired sword in hand.

"This is it!" He informed me. "You ready?"

Well, um, actually, I . . .

The Hatter twirled his sword and held it aloft.

As he counted down to our attack, I felt a surge of black fear rise within me. I was terrified. My horse must have shared in my utter terror, for he suddenly evacuated his bladder.

The Suits began to pass us by. The Hatter urged Guinevere forward, shouting.

The time had come to rescue the fair maiden! I gathered my rapidly diminishing courage, took a deep breath, and . . . ran.

Oh, my shame! Oh, my dishonor! Oh, my poor Alice and her Hatter!

I heard the Hatter yell my name and Alice scream his name in fear. Then my blood pounded in my ears so loudly that I heard no more.

Oh, what had I done?

My tears of guilt and regret mixed with the sweat pouring off me as I abandoned my friends and fled back in shame to the Kingdom of Knights.

* * *

**Arrgggh! The thought of Charlie abandoning them just turns me inside out every time! Oh Charlie, you deserve such a smack!**


	12. Reclaiming My Honor

I do not own Syfy's Alice. I do not own Hatter. Shame.

Tales of the White Knight

Chapter 12: The Reclaiming of My Honor

* * *

I paced miserably to and fro before the Red King, my judge and my jury. And I tried to justify my actions. Oh, how I did try.

_And what do you have to say for yourself, Squire?_

"We couldn't possibly have gotten away. There were too many of them. Yes, it'd be suicide."

_Really? And that is your final statement on the matter, then?_

I shuffled around in despair, finally turning to stand with my back to him. I stood alone, the weight of my darkest sin crushing down upon my worthless, cowardly soul. I should have rescued Alice from the Suits' clutches! At the very least I should have been captured and faced hideous torture and certain death with them!

"I know what you're thinking," I said woefully, turning back to face the Red King. "Of all the knights to survive, it had to be . . . me."

_No knights survived. You are but a squire, Charles Eustace Fotheringhay Le Malfoy III. You are no knight._

"The gutless one," I continued, looking around in anguish.

Oh, where were those blasted squirrels? I knew they must be watching, relishing my pain. As if they had offered any help at all.

"I'm not even a knight," I admitted finally.

_No, you are not._

"I'm a charlatan."

_Yes._

"An imposter."

_Yes._

" A big . . . fat . . . fraud!"

_Yes. _

My shame and grief overwhelmed me in the face of my pathetic existence now laid bare with honesty and regret. If only I could rip out my beating heart from my chest and crush it to dust, all this misery would finally end.

_That would be too easy, Coward Squire._

Yes, yes, I know. Then I spoke for him, the Red King, as I had before on so many a dark, lonely night.

"While Just Alice and her harbinger are tortured at the Casino . . ."

_Very slowly, most likely. How long do you think they will be made to writhe in their agony, Squire?_

". . . you sit around eating borogove cutlets . . ."

_And how do they sit in your stomach? Have they turned foul in the acid of regret?_

". . . and dreaming of the good old days . . . "

_Some of them were not so good. Not so good at all. That last day, for example._

"Well, it's about time you stopped fantasizing . . ."

_What about? Nefarious plots by small woodland creatures and exchanging discourse with an inanimate skeleton, perhaps?_

". . . and did something for real! Something useful! Something brave!"

_Yes, that would indeed be an improvement._

I halted my anxious pacing and stared deep into his empty eye sockets. He stared back, daring me to become who I should be.

_Come now, Squire. You have almost got it. You are almost there. _

"Something like . . ."

The thought struck me and my face brightened with the light of revelation and hope.

"Yes. . ."

_Good boy, Charlie. Now you're thinking like a knight! Now get to it._

* * *

I worked all throughout the night without stopping. My bones ached. Blisters broke upon my skin. I grew weak and feeble. But I did not stop. I did not falter. I did not waver in my commitment. This time, this time, I would not fail my friends. I would not fail those who needed me.

I would _be_ the White Knight.

Finally, the time had come. How I managed to prepare so much out in the open without being detected I shall never know. Perhaps the spirit of the long dead knights shielded me with mystical glamours to aid me in my quest for bravery, absolution, and recompense for my fallen friends.

My army of the dead. I had positioned them a ways off from the Casino so as to draw out the Suits. Their armor, their swords, their spears, their shields, their banners. All exhumed and prepared for battle. Their bodies stood aloft, held by with sticks jammed into their upper spines.

My humblest apologies, fellow knights. But this diversion may prove vital to my dear friends!

I stood before one of my men, placed his helm firm upon his bare skull, and saluted him.

Yes, my brother! Tonight we may dine together in the afterlife! But today! Today we fight for Alice, the Hatter, and all the other poor souls who have been wronged by the Hearts and their vile Casino!

I threw forth my daring challenge.

"Come out, you cowards! Come out and face the wrath of Asclepius!"

My voice trembled in exhaustion, but I ignored my fatigued body and shook my gauntleted fist at the wretched Casino.

And Thetan's Ghost! It worked! Out came Suits to engage my army of bones!

"Hold your positions, men!" I marched among them, their valiant captain.

And here came three Suits flying in on flamingos!

"Don't fire until you see the whites . . . of their beaks!" I commanded bravely.

Dipping low, they dropped hand-held bombs into my ranks! Great explosions racked the ground!

A few of my men went down, blown apart by shrapnel. Easy thing since they had not much to hold them together.

I rushed over and bravely released a deadly spear from the catapult at the avian fighters.

Missed! Blast!

More flamingos!

"Another wave!" I called to my men, launching the catapult again without success.

I screamed nonsense to the treacherous skies. ". . . I have in onions! Specialist fishcakes!"

None of it made any nonsense, of course. But 'twas the emotion conveyed behind the ranting, much like my singing, which was important.

Reaching a fallen comrade, I lifted him up again.

"Get up, man! Get up!" I reprimanded him harshly. "This is no time for sleeping on the job!"

Ranks of Suits came out and stood menacingly on the lawn between me and the Casino. They held guns. I did not. This could prove a complication. Still, I stood firm.

I knew not what might be occurring inside the Casino. I could not know the fate of my dear Alice and Hatter. I could only hope to fight as long as possible until the bitter end.

I rushed to and fro, replacing armor, resetting heads, and firing catapult spears. The charade must continue as long as possible.

"Keep your head, man!" I commanded adamantly to one fallen comrade. "Keep your head!"

Again I shot the catapult. And, oh grand conquest! I got one! Victory was within my grasp!

In my elation, I did not notice that the Suit I'd vanquished had dropped an active bomb.

I bellowed my exultation. "Take that! You evil . . ."

The blackness consumed me first and _then_ I heard the explosion. And then . . . only silence.

* * *

The ground trembled terribly. 'Twas the knights riding in formation on their steeds! Yes! The thunderous beat of their hooves made quite the glorious sound!

I opened my eyes slowly and took in my surroundings. Flat on my back. Blue sky overhead. My ravaged army disintegrated around me.

Ah, yes. I remember now. Alice and her Hatter. I was attacking the Casino in hopes of . . . well I know not what exactly.

Glancing to the side, I found the pull rope attached to the loaded catapult. One final blow. 'Tis the last of it. My numb body was unresponsive except for my righteous right hand.

"Go on, Charlie," I whispered in my dying. "One . . . last . . . shot."

I slowly reached for the rope.

Whispering my ancient incantation, hoping for a surge of energy to fire the final shot. Then I could rest with my fellow knights. I pulled the cord with the last strength in me.

The foreboding Casino came crashing down in a burst of flame and retribution! Collapsing like a house of cards! Mighty explosions rang out for miles around!

I gazed at the clouds of smoke, stunned.

"Bulls-eye!" I gasped.

And I knew no more.

* * *

**Definitely one of the oddest battle sequences I have ever seen. Bruce Campbell and the Army of Darkness, anyone?**


	13. Oh, My Marvelous Friends

I do not own Syfy's Alice. I do not own Hatter. Shame.

Tales of the White Knight

Chapter 13: Oh, My Marvelous Friends

* * *

Snippets of their exploits in the Hearts Casino reached my ears as I searched for my friends. The abrupt demise of the mysterious rabbit-headed man at the sledgehammer fist of the Hatter. Alice's daring escape on a flying flamingo. The august siege of the Casino game room.

And I believed every word. Unlike me, they were genuine heroes. Sterling champions.

Concerning the valiant warriors, I learned of the actual event that brought forth the demise of the Hearts Casino as well. Alice and her Hatter had hectored with the powerful emotions of the Oysters until those emotions had destroyed the entire structure.

Quite the feat! Might even surpass battling the Suits with an army full of deceased conscripts.

Alas, those magnificent tales were undeniable proof that my glorious success was a sham. 'Twas easier for me to accept seeing as I had yet to regale anyone with the grand and completely fictional account of my victory. Although to my meager credit, I had unknowingly created enough of a distraction to aid their escape.

Thus I concluded that my efforts had not been completely in vain and were moderately notable.

And now to the most important task at hand. I must locate my friends and most humbly beg their forgiveness. Though I had unknowingly assisted in their victory, I could no longer deny that I had abandoned them to their fate, however momentarily. So that I may carry myself with true and sincere dignity, I must confess and pray their clemency.

I laid eyes upon the Hatter first. I beheld him whilst he was yet unaware of my presence. Oh, black day! It seemed he had taken quite the beating at the hands of some miscreants or other. He sported a black eye, several cuts, and bruises. He also appeared to have bled from his ears and head at some point during his harrowing ordeal. I suspected other bodily injuries lay hidden 'neath his clothing as well.

It fractured my renewed spirit to see the violence he had suffered due to my cowardice. I almost turned away in shame, but resolutely pressed forward to offer my admission of guilt and beg his mercy.

"Hatter," I began without embellishment. "I am so deeply sorry for abandoning you and Alice in your time of need."

He waved it off, not entirely facing me. "She's safe now."

"Yes, thank the Oracle, but it was unforgivable of me to . . .'

He interrupted me. "Let's not talk about it, Charlie, okay? It's all worked out now."

"Yes, Hatter, but I must implore you . . ."

He turned upon me, his indignation heavy upon his battered face. 'Twas clear he was struggling to maintain control.

"Seriously, Charlie, I'm going to have to hit ya if ya don't shut it!"

I 'shut it', as commanded. He took a deep breath and spoke again, a bit calmer.

"Look, we're mates, okay? You came back to help her in the end and that's what matters. Just . . . let it pass, yeah?"

I nodded, heavy with emotion of his forgiveness and he nodded back before turning away from me.

All right, then. Good-o.

* * *

Ah, the Looking Glass, most impressive I must say. People stood in the room with it, talking quietly, clearly excited to be returning home.

Ah, yes, Alice, would be leaving now, I suppose. Back to her world. Never to return.

"Alice!" I called her name as I saw her and she turned toward me. She smiled brightly and my heart lit with joy at the sight.

"I'm so glad you came," she said, wrapped her strong arms around me.

I held her, relishing my last moments with my dear, sweet Alice. We had conversed earlier and she had most graciously granted me forgiveness.

But now, quite soon, she would leave me forever. The Prince had already stated that the Looking Glass would be used no more. This was our last meeting.

When she released me, I grasped her young, strong hands in my old, feeble ones, unable let her withdraw from me completely.

She spoke, her voice heavy with emotion. "You really showed them, Charlie."

"Thanks to you, Alice." I spoke with all the sincerity in my heart.

I was so grateful for my time with her. I owed everything to her, my brave, noble Alice. She had indeed saved me, had saved us all.

"I shall miss you, Alice of Legend."

With much effort, I maintained my composure. 'Twas the right thing, her returning home. I was glad for her but mournful for my loss of her companionship.

Jack, formerly Prince of Hearts, now King of Wonderland, joined us, accompanied by his few trusted Suits.

I stood straight and serene and met his eyes. I had garnered his respect and I would grant him his. He had, after all, overthrown his wicked mother, the Queen of Hearts. With our help.

He placed his hand sincerely upon his heart. "Thank you, Charlie."

I bowed to him, as a knight to his king.

"Your Majesty."

I still remember how you trussed me up and caused strife between my Alice and her Hatter. Though I shall refrain from speaking of it. We both know, do we not?

I backed away. Having bade my final goodbye to Alice, I allowed King Jack his time to speak with her.

I kept my eyes upon her however. I would drink her in as long as I could. Imprint her forever upon my memory. My Just Plain Alice of Legend. My dear girl.

The new king guided her away and they spoke privately in friendly tones. I could see he offered her the Stone of Wonderland. And she gently refused him. He must have taken it well enough, for they hugged.

Poor fellow. A pity he didn't know any hat tricks. He might just have had a chance. But I rather doubt it.

* * *

**Now that Charlie has said his goodbyes to Alice, there's just one more person to bid farewell to . . . **


	14. Oh, My Idiotic Friends

I do not own Syfy's Alice. I do not own Hatter. Shame.

Tales of the White Knight

Chapter 14: Oh, My Idiotic Friends

* * *

Bless his stupid little heart, the Hatter chose that moment to walk through the revolving door of the Looking Glass room. Seeing King Jack and Alice locked in their embrace, his entire countenance slumped visibly.

Did he actually believe she had chosen a simple king over her noble vassal? Oh, surely not. He could not possibly be that foolish.

He nodded his head imperceptibly as though accepting what he assumed was his fate. As though he deserved nothing more.

Perhaps he _was_ that foolish.

Alice restarted the looking glass with King Jack's guidance. It vibrated momentarily and hummed to life.

As she turned away from the King Jack and the Looking Glass, her face brightened once again.

"Hatter!"

I saw her honest joy as she walked toward him, a renewed spring in her step.

Alice's face positively glowed at the sight of him and his to her. Meeting together some distance from me, they embraced with their eyes and prattled with their mouths. I could not hear their words, but to watch them revealed all I needed to know.

Alice seemed a bit confused by their exchange. She appeared to be desiring something from their conversation that he was not providing.

Oh, bless the knights, he wasn't making a fool of himself, was he?

Alice seemed to be completely willing to accept him now, to welcome him into her heart. The Hatter, on the other hand, held her at arms' length, so to speak. And all this time it had been _him_ attempting to pull _her _closer.

Oh, Thetan's Ghost! Profess your love to her already! Embrace her! Kiss her! Do _something_, you blasted fool!

They glanced around, obviously uncomfortable in these their final moments together in this world.

And Hatter the Vassal, Hatter the Harbinger, Hatter the Fool, just kept right on talking.

Oh, their eyes cried out to each other! Why couldn't they just speak honestly? I barely restrained myself from advancing upon them and beating them both about the temples with his crumpled hat!

Then Alice removed the purple velvet coat, offering it to him. The Hatter seemed bit reluctant to take it from her, but eventually accepted the garment.

Ah, it had been his all along, eh? That explained much, actually. Why she had left it upon her first departure. Why she had wrapped herself in it while he was gone. Yes, all the pieces of their little story were falling into place at last.

And . . . day-o! Finally, they embraced! Now, wait . . . what was _that_? That was wretched! I gave her better than that and I'm an old man, not her beloved!

Ugh, I am agog! I am aghast! Just tell each other! There'd have been more honesty and ardor passed between a pair of dead pigs than the two of you!

Just speak the truth that is in your eyes!

The opportune moment passed, several of them actually, until a technician came over and took Alice away from her Hatter. I thought he might implode on the spot or at least beckon to her as she looked back at him with such longing.

Tell her, you blasted fool! What are you _doing_?

And then Alice of Legend was gone. Just like that. Through the Looking glass and back into her world. Gone from us all. Forever.

The Hatter remained still, staring vacantly into the space where she had stood only moments before. I thought he would never move. But he did. Slowly, his body moving as hollowly as an empty shell. He moved toward the revolving door in a haze as though he didn't know it was there or what he would do when he moved through it.

I caught him just outside, standing alone in the warm sunlight.

"Hatter!"

I knew he heard my resounding call, but he did not acknowledge me.

"What _are_ you doing?" I demanded, standing behind him.

"I don't know. Standing here . . ." his voice drifted off.

"Why did you not tell her?"

He remained mute. I voiced my exasperated query again, this time placing myself directly in front of him.

"Tell her what exactly, Charlie?" His cockney voice weary. "Tell her that she changed everything for me? Tell her to stay? Or that I wanted to go with her? Tell her I need her? Tell her I can't live without her? Tell her I love her? What should I have told her?"

"Thetan's Ghost! All of it! Any of it!"

He finally looked up at me, despair standing in his dark eyes once again.

"She has her own life in her own world. I'm not part of it . . . I'm . . . just . . . me . . ."

In utter frustration and with no available broom, I snatched his woven hat off his head and began clouting him dreadfully with it. Maybe I could knock some sense into him while there was still time! As I pummeled him, I spoke vehemently.

"That's all she needs, you imbecilic fool! Just you! That's all she wants! Just you! How could you be so utterly _daft_?"

I would beat him into the Looking Glass if I had to! For his own good! For my dear Alice!

He hunched up his shoulders and raised his hands defensively under my irate assault for a few moments. When his eyes met mine amid the blows, I could see his ire. I thought surely he would strike me down and lay me low. But he did not. He snatched the hat from me, nearly tearing the brim.

"Back off, Charlie! I need time to think!" he yelled, retreating from my oncoming advance.

"No, you don't!" I bellowed in retort. "You need Alice!"

Off he dashed, with me in slower pursuit. I followed him with resolute determination. I would pursue him all over Wonderland if I must! 'Twas my most important crusade! For my Alice! For her Hatter!

"Thetan's Ghost! Come back here and heed my words, _Vassal_ . ."

* * *

**Come on, tell me you can't just see Charlie practically _vibrating_ on the spot with frustration at this scene! I know I do every time I watch it! **


	15. Epilogue

I do not own Syfy's Alice. I do not own Hatter. Shame.

Tales of the White Knight

Epilogue

* * *

Alas, the Hatter remained stubbornly within the borders of Wonderland for several weeks. He aided King Jack in his liquidation, so to speak, of the Teashops. He fended off my continuous verbal entreaties to enter the Looking Glass. And he attempted to mask his brooding over the absence of his Alice. Poorly so, I might add.

I would catch him every so often staring off into space, a yearning look upon his scruffy face. When questioned, he usually mentioned hearing some sound or other.

Petulant child, he was.

Just as I was beginning to despair, the Hatter could deny his affections no longer. He stood in the presence of King Jack of Hearts and petitioned him to allow a one-way journey through the Looking Glass.

King Jack graciously granted the request and permitted the odyssey. At the behest of his Duchess, he also supplied the Hatter with appropriate citizenry documents and many pieces of green paper that I am to understand are useful in that particular sphere.

I heard talk of the bequeathment of Jack's contracted abode as well as helpful advisements of the workings of her society. Apparently, it lacked a few essentials, such as flying flamingos and borogove cutlets. More's the pity.

These Wonderland luxuries were replaced by "taxis" and "pizza". Sounded suspicious to my ears. However, I rested assured in the knowledge that his Alice would guide him through these new experiences as he had so guided her.

I was present when the Hatter departed Wonderland in pursuit of his Alice. According the calculations of the technicians, less than a day would have passed in Alice's world whereas three weeks had transpired in Wonderland. Quite the mind boggle, I must confess.

When the moment was at hand, the Hatter stood silent and unmoving before the Looking Glass. He carried only a black hat and a large bag for his journey. Fleetingly I wondered if this new world would contain any hats to replenish his diminished collection.

Ah, no matter. He was to be reunited with his Alice. She would provide him all he truly desired.

King Jack offered the Hatter his hand and after a moment, they shook. They did not speak, only nodded.

The Duchess, lovelier now that she no longer was forced to clothe herself as a ornamented trollop, approached the Hatter. She lightly kissed him on his cheek and smiled kindly.

"Take good care of her, Hatter."

He seemed uncharacteristically at a loss for words and only nodded again. Then he looked to me one last time.

"Thanks, Charlie."

I bowed my head slightly. "It has been my honor, my friend."

I shall never forget the look of hopefulness and abject fear mixed on the Hatter's face as he stood on the threshold of his newest adventure. It made him look so young. Of course, it might also have been the change of clothes. He'd even brushed his unruly hair.

And then, the Hatter too, stepped through the Looking Glass and out of my world forever.

* * *

King Jack was much impressed with my magical netting. Not quite so with my Gravity Assisted Snare Mark IV. Upon seeing the netting in action, I was offered permanent placement as an inventor for the good of Wonderland. I accepted the position gladly. I am provided with proper lodging and filling sustenance. There are people around me when I desire and solitude when I do not.

Sometimes I lose myself for days at a time out in the wild, testing my inventions and singing to the skies. However, I eventually long for and return to the company of living, breathing people once more. 'Tis quite the pleasant life. I believe the Red King smiles in contentment for me, the charlatan squire who became a noble knight at last.

One day, King Jack brightened my spirits even further. He came to me as I was working outside on a unique invention (very hush hush, I regret to inform you) and confided in me he had undertaken a covert mission to Alice's world. Using a "camera", he had discreetly "taken a picture" of Alice and her Hatter.

In the "picture", they are laughing good-naturedly and their faces are alight with merriment. They look happy and well. I knew they would be.

I felt a great joy for my friends and sang boisterously for most of the afternoon.

* * *

Alas, the hour growth late and so ends my tale. I, Sir Charles Eustace Fotheringhay Le Malvoy III, have journeyed far and wide in my grand adventures. I have faced my demons and vanquished mine enemies with the help of my dear friends.

And now I bade you to depart, share my tales, and indulge in your own adventures. May you go forward and do good in your own part of your world.

* * *

**Hats off to actor Matt Frewer for creating an unforgettable, charmingly-annoying character. **

**Deepest heartfelt thanks to Nocturnal Elle and Mycha for all your continuous support and encouragement.**

**Thanks to my loyal readers and may you find your own happiness in the world.**


End file.
